Sharing is Healthy!
It’s hard for anyone to share, but little kids definitely want their own way. Sharing is just not a natural thing to want to do. But, sharing is healthy, and good for you. I need to help my little sweethearts see the advantages of sharing and get them to actually do it. As a parent I am going to guide them toward doing the right thing, but that can be difficult.
I have to be the parent, so I have full control and Veto Rights! Why am I saying that I have full control and veto rights? It sounds a little bit harsh. It makes you want to say ‘you’re not the boss of me’!
Actually I am the boss, because my children were given to me by God and it’s my responsibility to do my very best for them.
Your little ones need someone that they can count on, to guide them in life.
They need someone who cares enough to meet their physical needs, to teach them good character, to present them opportunities so they can succeed at each stage of their developmental years. Teaching them to share is a huge part of that. So where would we all be if I didn’t live up to my responsibilities?
Full control doesn’t ‘micro-manage’. Veto doesn’t mean that you have to run around after your kids saying no, no, no! It means that as the parent, I need to create an environment where they can thrive and develop their character. I’m the one who has to be strong and make choices for them that are not comfortable.
I wrote a post called Hobbies are Healthy. Today I say, Sharing is healthier. Working on a hobby adds quality and experience to your life. Sharing develops good character. Sharing is only easy, if it’s your choice, but if you have to share, it is annoying and no fun!
I grew up with only 1 little brother. My baby sister didn’t come along til I was 12. I had my own bedroom, my own stereo, my own toys, basically my own little universe. I could have become incredibly selfish and self centered, (I probably was, but I didn’t know it) but then, my dad split.
After he left, life became tougher, and we had to pull together to make our family work successfully. That forced us to become more unselfish and giving with each other. We had to babysit. We had less options to go out to restaurants, do fun activities, get more toys at Christmas because money was tight. Since we had to share, it was the best training we could have gotten for our life. Sacrifice and sharing! Suddenly we were forced to become more aware of how we could meet each other’s needs. You have to check out this article. This is what I didn’t want for my kids. If these are true stories, I’m so glad they all learned. It’s really funny! 17 Former Spoiled Brats
Raising 9 children, I see great value in having to share.
We have only 1 TV in our house. I like it that way, because we are the parents. We get first dibs, veto rights and full control over what is shown on our one and only TV.
Often we’ll pick the (boring) show, like HGTV home DIY’s, or some retro Austin City Limits music concert, and the kids either watch with us, or find something else to do. That is fine with me. If the kids turn it on first, Disney shows up and we might join them. We share, and we’re together. It’s really more wonderful to have only 1 TV. It brings us together. It’s better than letting each little person be selfish and stay separately in their own rooms to watch what they want. We get to be together. That’s why sharing is healthy.
In the car, the oldest automatically gets shot gun but the others get 1st come, 1st served for the rest of the seats. I’m the parent, I get veto rights, and full control of who sits where! That means that if an argument starts, I tell them where to sit, and that’s it.
They share and take turns picking the bedtime story. They share the snowmobile. We even share the landline phone in the house!
Why? Because I am the parent, and I love them.
Having a house phone, allows me to know who they’re talking to and how long they’re using the phone. They can have a cell phone when I say it’s good for them, but if they’re too young to handle that responsibility, they get to use the house phone.
We bought a 5 bedroom house when we only had 4 kids. 2 girls shared one bedroom, 2 boys shared another. 1 bedroom was saved for a guestroom, and since we were renovating, 1 room was a catch-all for tools and construction materials. The oldest got 1st choice of top or bottom bunk, and of course they chose the top.
If you talk to my children, you’ll hear stories of how annoying it was to have to share a bedroom. There was fighting, stealing each other’s stuff, fooling around, and getting in trouble for fooling around. But, there were also special times, secrets, sneaking up, and adventures that I don’t even want to know about. Sharing created an environment of give and take, like it or lump it. In life, you have to like it or lump it often, and having to share as a kid, prepares them for the real world.
I remember luxury day.
We bought a high-top van loaded with fancy lights inside, leather seats and guess what?…1 TV / video player. It felt so luxurious to travel in comfort and style. I think we had 6 kids, then. 4 across the back seat, and 2 kids in each captain seats.
There was always a mad scramble to choose the movies for the trip. The little zippered case would be loaded up with everyone’s choices. They were allowed to choose 2 videos each, with the admonition, that there would be a vote. The best part about the TV in the van, was that we all watched the same movie at the same time. We were together and sharing. They didn’t even necessarily get either one of their choices of movies on that trip.
I always kind of wanted a bigger house that had rec rooms and family rooms and optional living spaces, but looking back, I’ve loved being in closer quarters. I think it’s helped us to be a lot closer.
Being the parent, you have full control and veto rights. Why? Because you have the big picture and know what’s best for your precious children. Why else? Because you love your little dears and you want the best for them, just like I do.
I want my sweet little dears, to grow up to be Godly, unselfish, caring, diligent, honest people who will win the respect of others because of their awesome character. And I want them to know and experience the blessing of give and take with others.