Successful Double Wedding? You need 5 Things!

Well, we did it. We successfully made it through 2 of our kids getting married at the same time, at the same church, with the same pianist and the same wedding coordinator and the same reception.  We used the same poor lady at the church to organize us all and we certainly gave her a run for her money. None of us had ever been to a double wedding, let alone planned one before. The funny thing was that when we announced the double wedding, no one assumed that we meant that it would be together, together! A lot of people thought we meant a week apart, or on the same weekend a day apart, but not us. We did it all together. I loved it.

T have a Successful Double Wedding, 4 people and 3 families need to show love, kindness and unselfishness with each other. I'm so proud of my kids. What a beautiful double wedding we had

Events overlap in a big family, so when our daughter, Abby, got engaged at Christmas time and said they wanted to get married soon, we had to figure something out quick. Michael and Nicole were already planning their wedding in 4 months. They started talking about different possibilities and came up with the idea of getting married together. I thought this was a crazy idea, but they were excited about it. Everyone wondered how they would get along and not get upset with each other, but that was no problem at all.

The challenge for us was in working out the details and one of the trickiest things was communication. I know, you’re thinking that communication is easy these days and it doesn’t matter where you are: Skype, Hangouts, Face Time, etc. but it’s not always that simple. With Abby in Oregon, Pete in Calgary, Michael and Nicole in Texas and the rest of us in Michigan, there were time zones, jobs and just plain old time constraints! The moment someone would have a great idea and we’d want to talk about it, someone else was sleeping or at work. But it all turned out to be absolutely amazing and truly beautiful. I’m so proud of everyone. It was the event of the season for our family.

You need 5 things to have a successful double wedding and I’m not talking about pretty flowers or big diamond rings. You need:

1. Unselfishness

Without being incredibly unselfish, the stress of it all will bring out the dark side! How do you agree with someone else on how to do your day if you are very selfish?! This is the day every girl dreams of, right? If you don’t get to have your own way with everything you ever dreamed of and wanted, wouldn’t that be unfair? I proud of them for being very unselfish.

2. Generosity

What I mean by that is to have a generosity of heart. An attitude that says, I want to give to the other person so they’ll be happy. It’s a word that means you’re willing to give or give in to another person even though it’s your day. What if you want pink and frills, and the other girl wants black and gold, you can’t resolve this if you’re not generous in your heart towards each other. There was only so much money for the wedding and it had to be shared between them and I watched them work together to make it all beautiful.

3. Flexibility

Ouch, being flexible can be a real toughie. It’s your day, right? So why shouldn’t you have things the way you want, and to have to be flexible, ugh, that means that you don’t get your own way. The ceremony was really tricky to plan out. 2 Brides, 2 Grooms, 3 sets of Mom’s and Dad’s. That was at least 10 people with important, valid thoughts and opinions! Now factor in 2 sets of bridesmaids, 2 sets of groomsmen, and 2 pastors. There was so much give and take and everyone was really sweet. Not only were they flexible with each other, but their bridesmaids and groomsmen put their own needs aside and really served the 2 couples.

4. Kindness

Kindness is the opposite of selfishness. Kindness involves the action of love. The girls planned so much of their double wedding together on the phone, for months before, but when they arrived at my house, 2 1/2 weeks ahead of time, all I saw was 2 girls having so much fun, doing all kinds of wedding, shower and bachelorette things together. I couldn’t have been happier with them. They treated each other with absolute kindness. You Go, Girls! In case you think I’m forgetting the guys.

The Guys were both the coolest;  Calm, not demanding, they tried to please their women; They rocked it!

5. Love

Love does not envy or boast. Love does not insist on its own way. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends. This is what I saw happen at their double wedding. 2 couples who were unselfish and very loving to each other.

Credit goes to Pastor Brady Courtner for setting the tone right away at the beginning of the ceremony. He created an atmosphere that day, so that each couple not only had a double wedding that was so fun and shared with each other, but he made it 100% special and personal for each of them.  

There’s so much of the talk in our culture that its all about –  ‘My day’  When girls are planning their dream wedding, the idea that ‘It’s my day’, goes completely against the 5 qualities that it takes to share a wedding. It is sort of the height of self-centeredness. But even if you’re not sharing your day with another couple, the 5 qualities that are needed to have a successful double wedding, are the same qualities it takes to have a successful single wedding and a successful marriage. There is no ‘my’ about it.

A wedding is a time for 2 families (3 in our case) to come together to celebrate the joining together of a man and a woman in holy matrimony, to bless them, to celebrate them and to give to them with their time, money and love.

Do you agree with me?

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